He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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