It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
