my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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