Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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