He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
