I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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