...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Are we still banned from the library?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
