nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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