you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
