I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize