You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
