She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Bring me that man meat
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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