I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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