I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
