Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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