yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
