I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
