even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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