Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
