I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
