Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
