He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
