; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Randomize
