why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just high enough for therapy.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize