I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This is not my ceiling
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
