Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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