I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
