I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
