if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
