A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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