Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
