Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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