Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
