How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
