were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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