hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
