Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize