Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
where does the pee come out of this thing
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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