It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
