I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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