Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize