I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
