I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
