i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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