they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
