Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize