I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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