you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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