I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
