Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
