First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
