Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
