so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
