I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
