I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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