I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
