also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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