She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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