**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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