I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
