it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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