wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
