I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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