whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
...so i touched it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
