We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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