ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
