You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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