i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize