How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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