I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
