I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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