u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
