Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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