dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
In America we eat man semen.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
