there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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