Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize