did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
